Having faith in fate

        It has been since April of 2016 since Mickey and I have been able to trial in NW3. We keep getting wait listed. With my health, and Mickey's age, I am limiting trials to Southern California, and Las Vegas area. I had a big scare about April when Mickey had trouble with his heart. He also lost a lot of his stamina. I thought for sure his nose work career was over. But through acupuncture, therapies, supplements and trying everything I can, He has come back. he and I are ready, but we can't get in a nose work trial. This is the norm, I'm not alone in this issue. Though it is hard seeing Friends trial in three trials ni a row and nada for me. It is hard. Especially when Mickey only has months left to be able to do nose work at this level.

         With every disappointment, I tell myself, have faith in fate. I am going to get in the trial that Mickey and I succeed. With so many things going on in my life, like challenges of driving, my health etc. it is best that I get in a trial that is meant to be and have faith it will come.

         This reminds me learning the grieving process. I have read some books in the past from the Grief Institute. It taught me to grieve. That it is ok to feel sad. Everyone is always trying to tell you hte bright side or how to feel better, but in reality, we need to greive that little loss. Not swallow in it, but grieve. It is loss. It is similar when i don't tile. People trying to tell me I got to spend it with my dog, that that is more important and all this other advice that really doesn't make me feel better. What makes me feel better is grieving over the situation, study what I did to improve and practice to get better. That makes me feel better. sometimes you just have to shut the people out and not let them rob your grief. Yes it feels bad, but grief is supposed to be felt and once you feel it and work through it, you can move on. It helps you grow and become a better person.

           Since April, th e last time Mickey and I trialed, I have worked on myself a lot. This is from grieving that pushed me to be a better person. I emerged myself into the Mental Mind Management (R) program. It helped me get Divine's title and some smaller titles with Mickey. I felt myself coming back. I now know how to manage the way I think at a trial. It isn't a concept, but a practice. Now that I have improved my mental management, i really want to try it with Mickey before it is too late. It will feel as if I have grown and I Have come to a higher level of performance. Not for a title but for self fulfillment and life betterment.

              For now, I continue to have faith in fate, my time will come and when it happens, it will be magic.